by Monika DittrichDeutsche-Welle
5/25/2010
Sitting in his house in the Bergisches Land region of western Germany, Johannes Wendeler looks at photos of his ordination at Cologne Cathedral in 1989.
"I was sure that I would live the rest of my life as a priest," said Wendeler.
The idea of falling in love never occurred to Wendeler. When he was ordained as a priest at the age of 30, he had never had a relationship with a woman. Wendeler says, because of this, celibacy seemed to him to be an acceptable lifestyle.
But that changed when, after working as a priest for seven years, he met physiotherapist Lydia Piechotta, following a car accident which left him with a broken hand. The two enjoyed the conversations they had during therapy sessions and became close friends. Soon after, they fell in love.
"We weren't searching, but still we still found each other," says Piechotta.
Life of celibacy
Of course, this was a big problem for Wendeler and Piechotta. How should they deal with this love, which is forbidden in the eyes of the Catholic Church?
"There were always whispers whenever we went out for a walk together," recalls Piechotta. "And we couldn't tell anyone that we were in love!"
The two did not want to live like this forever, and so after about a year, Wendeler told the Archbishop of Cologne. That same day, he was suspended from the priesthood.
Since the vow of celibacy for clergy is an iron law in the Roman Catholic Church, it is an absolute requirement for young men wishing to become ordained as priests. However, a life of celibacy cannot be regarded as a commandment from God, since it is not specifically called for in the Bible.
It was probably economic considerations which lay behind the decision to make celibacy obligatory in the 12th century; priests were thus unable to pass on church property to their descendants.
In the eyes of the Catholic Church, celibacy is seen as a gift and a symbol of God's closeness and faithfulness. A celibate priest can give himself completely to God and concentrate on pastoral care without disruptions from married life.
A group made up of Catholic priests and their wives has been fighting against celibacy in Germany for over 25 years. Members estimate that not even 50 percent of priests in the country stay celibate.
Willing to remain
Abandoning the ministry does not come into question for many priests, and there is also a fear of social fallout. Priests are not insured against unemployment and only have minimal pension rights. They also lack experience with the working world outside the church.
"As a result, many priests have kept their relationships and children hidden," says Wendeler.
He and his wife did not have to be so secretive. Wendeler has now been married for twelve years and today works for an employment agency. However, if the church were ever to drop its celibacy requirement, he says he would gladly don the robes once again.
"I always loved preaching and I enjoyed the preparations for Mass."
Photo: Lydia Piechotta and Johannes Wendeler
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2 comments:
This is a letter I just sent to Linda who married a Catholic priest in 1982. I want to share my thoughts not only to Linda and her husband but to everybody who is not afraid to make a difference!
Dear Linda, greetings to you and your husband! I admire what your husband Reverend Father Phil Marcin did. All Catholic priests who claim they are truly or sincerely in love should do the same thing as what he did. He did the right thing, he did not turn his back on you, by doing this he followed God's Rule or Law and not the Rule or Law of Man! I am very happy and glad to know that your husband Reverend Father Phil Marcin still performs baptisms, serves Holy Communion and completes other priestly duties when asked by everyday folks. What happened to you and Phil is God's way of letting us know that God's Rule or Law prevails over Man's Rule or Law! Those who are leading the Catholic Church should review their Law on Celibacy and ask themselves if that Law on Celibacy which they are imposing is God's Law or Man's Law, if it is only Man's law and it is already causing so much pain to women and priests who are truly and sincerely in love including their children and families, then it is high time that Catholic leaders must revise or change that Law on Celibacy and follow God's Law or Rule!!! The leaders of the Catholic Church should be the ones to ease the pain of the people and not to promote pain because promoting pain is NOT the will of God!!! We all know that one of the reasons for priests not being allowed to marry is economical or financial reasons. My comment to this is why put financial reasons above the will of God or above God's Law or Rule? Are the leaders of the Catholic Church not afraid that by imposing their man-made Law they are very much violating God's Will or God's Law. If another reason that the Catholic Church has in imposing priestly celibacy is that the priest will be disturbed in his priestly duties if he has a family of his own, then my comment to this is that a priest will be more efficient and eager in performing his tasks and duties if he is happy! And the wife and children who love the priest would even be very happy to support and help the Catholic Church in every way they can. Like other institutions the Catholic Church can also give its support to the priest, his wife and children and by doing this, the wife and children and their family members would be very grateful and thankful to the Catholic Church because the Catholic Church has NOT ABANDONED them, thus these people would become very supportive to the Catholic Church in every way they can as a sign of gratitude or gratefulness! Thus in the future what we will have is a very strong Catholic Church very unlike of what it is happening to it now, it is slowly weakening because of too many scandals brought about by that Man-made law on Celibacy!!
This is a letter I just sent to Linda who married a Catholic priest in 1982. I want to share my thoughts not only to Linda and her husband but to everybody who is not afraid to make a difference!
Dear Linda, greetings to you and your husband! I admire what your husband Reverend Father Phil Marcin did. All Catholic priests who claim they are truly or sincerely in love should do the same thing as what he did. He did the right thing, he did not turn his back on you, by doing this he followed God's Rule or Law and not the Rule or Law of Man! I am very happy and glad to know that your husband Reverend Father Phil Marcin still performs baptisms, serves Holy Communion and completes other priestly duties when asked by everyday folks. What happened to you and Phil is God's way of letting us know that God's Rule or Law prevails over Man's Rule or Law! Those who are leading the Catholic Church should review their Law on Celibacy and ask themselves if that Law on Celibacy which they are imposing is God's Law or Man's Law, if it is only Man's law and it is already causing so much pain to women and priests who are truly and sincerely in love including their children and families, then it is high time that Catholic leaders must revise or change that Law on Celibacy and follow God's Law or Rule!!! The leaders of the Catholic Church should be the ones to ease the pain of the people and not to promote pain because promoting pain is NOT the will of God!!! We all know that one of the reasons for priests not being allowed to marry is economical or financial reasons. My comment to this is why put financial reasons above the will of God or above God's Law or Rule? Are the leaders of the Catholic Church not afraid that by imposing their man-made Law they are very much violating God's Will or God's Law. If another reason that the Catholic Church has in imposing priestly celibacy is that the priest will be disturbed in his priestly duties if he has a family of his own, then my comment to this is that a priest will be more efficient and eager in performing his tasks and duties if he is happy! And the wife and children who love the priest would even be very happy to support and help the Catholic Church in every way they can. Like other institutions the Catholic Church can also give its support to the priest, his wife and children and by doing this, the wife and children and their family members would be very grateful and thankful to the Catholic Church because the Catholic Church has NOT ABANDONED them, thus these people would become very supportive to the Catholic Church in every way they can as a sign of gratitude or gratefulness! Thus in the future what we will have is a very strong Catholic Church very unlike of what it is happening to it now, it is slowly weakening because of too many scandals brought about by that Man-made law on Celibacy!!
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